Is Family Your Excuse To Stay Sick?
A few days ago one of our members at HowToGoRaw.com was reading
through some older posts at our member's only, raw food coaching
and support forum. She commented about one particular post that
she said really helped her.

Looking back at those posts, I realize there is a lot of great
information in there and I thought I'd share it with you. The
original post was from November 3, 2004.

At the time Raspberry, was new to our group. She was having a
hard time going 100% raw for several reasons including family
pressures.

The great news is that she has been 100% raw for quite a while
now. (Just a few minor set backs.) She's also lost 60 pounds and
feels great. At the end of this email, I'll post her testimonial
so you can see some of the ways she's benefited from her
membership at http://www.howtogoraw.com/success.html.

I've also added some other fantastic, new testimonials at
HowToGoRaw.com. One of them is an audio testimonial. Go now to
listen: http://www.howtogoraw.com/success.html

Her sister joined as well and also has had excellent health and
weight loss results. I'm including the forum posts below. I'll
put an RH: at the beginning of my replies to Raspberry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Raspberry:

My family just is not ready to switch to raw. I have a really
hard time cooking for the fam and not eating it sometimes.
Would it be a good idea to switch them to vegetarian and then to

vegan and then to raw? Any suggestions on how to slowly pull
them in?

Raspberry

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
RH: That's a difficult decision. But people do better at
something when they want to do it for their own reasons.

It's best for you to stick with raw and be a shining example of
health. Don't be preachy, just let family members see your good
results and then maybe some of them will want to join you.

In the meantime, do whatever you have to do to stay raw and be
happy with it. You really shouldn't feel forced to cook food for
people. You can just refuse to cook food for anyone. But if they
want a raw concoction that you make then you can make it for them.

Yes it is a big change for them and yes you might feel silly of
you then stop eating raw. But your husband and kids will have to
learn flexibility. Isn't that just the way life goes. People
need to learn to deal with change.

If you don't put your own health interests first, you'll have a
very hard time succeeding at a raw diet. This is a reason why
many people fail to succeed at going raw.

Of course, there are people who cook for others and can stay
raw. But it's simply easier at first to not have to do that.

If I haven't suggested it yet, then please consider reading,
"How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World," by Harry Browne. You
might be able to find it in the library.

Roger

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Raspberry:

"yes you might feel silly of you then stop eating raw"

WHAT???

"You can just refuse to cook food for anyone"

Not to be argumentative Roger, but how could I refuse to cook
for my children? They are too young to cook for themselves. As
for my husband, he works hard all day and is not ready to cook
for the kids after a full day's work just to support this new
life style.

Besides, you said, do not force raw on the husband or kids. If
I refused to make cooked food and make only raw nummies, I am in
effect forcing them raw. Conflicting advice here.

It is hard to stay raw in this position. It is something I
really want, therefore I doggedly pursue it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A couple of notes on her comments: My advice was not
conflicting, it just seemed that way to her from her position.
It would have in no way forced her family to go raw. It was
simply a suggestion that her family needed to adapt so that she
could reach her own health goals. If her husband and her family
truly loved her they would indeed adapt. {They have by the way.
They really support her now and are going vegetarian and eating
lots of raw foods.}

What if she died, would that mean her family would starve to
death? Of course not, they would adapt. Her husband could either
cook, get take out, make T.V dinners, cup of soup, or hire a
babysitter to prepare the food while he was out working. I also
think that some of her children were old enough to learn how to
prepare their own food. My brother was making his own meals at 9
years old.

It turns out her sister was living with her at the time and she
ended up doing the cooking. She was also eating raw, but cooking
food didn't bother her at all. So that helped out Raspberry at
the time.

The problem here is that people are not willing to look out for
their own interests. They feel trapped by prearranged family and
societal rules and agreements. But there is a way out if you are
creative and really want your goal enough. Luckily Raspberry
found a way that worked for her.

Plus now she can do so much more for her family. She used to
need to use a motorized wheel chair to get around. Now she can
walk freely because she doesn't have to carry around 60 extra
pounds of weight.

Your health is extremely important and it should generally come
before the needs of other people. You can only serve those
people the best anyway, if you are healthy.

This is why I recommended to her she read that book, "How I
Found Freedom In An Unfree World." Many health seekers could
benefit from reading that book. It's a classic and must read for
really anyone who wants to live life to the fullest and not be
enslaved by rules of society that benefit the society but not
the individual.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Back to my reply to Raspberry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
RH:

Hi Raspberry,

Do you see how your health is being influenced by the desires
of others?

In order for you to succeed at going raw, you have to put your
health interests above the interests of other people in your
family like your husband and kids.

This is what so many people don't understand and they end up
not going raw because of it. If you read that book "How I Found
Freedom," I mentioned in the last post, you would completely
understand my previous response to you.

Firstly I said, "yes you might feel silly of you then stop
eating raw." This happens to most new raw foodists, they start
eating raw and then they stop and then they start. And so they
feel they shouldn't make their family go through all of their
whims. But if you were truly looking out for your health first,
then you would do whatever you needed to do to stay raw.

Now this doesn't mean that your husband and children won't eat.
But it means that you wouldn't cook any food for them
whatsoever. You could prepare raw food for them, but you would
simply refuse to cook because you know it is so damaging for
your health and for theirs. But mainly because cooking makes it
difficult for you to stay raw.

Excuse me for being blunt here. I'm not saying this to be
antagonistic but to make a point. Did your husband marry you
because you were a cook? When you make a change in your life,
the people in your life will also be forced into changes. That
is life.

Can't you find some other way around the cooking situation?
Can't some of the older kids do the cooking if you don't want
to? They can learn how to do it. I did it for myself when I was
in 8th grade. I also did my laundry and food shopping. My father
wanted us to be independent at an early age.

So again, you can prepare all sorts of raw food dishes for
them, because doing so would not tempt you to eat cooked food.
If they don't want to eat your raw food preparations, they
should try to find another way to get their cooked food. Maybe
make TV dinners or learn how to cook.

And yes, you can certainly refuse to cook for your children and
I believe you should. That's like saying, how can I refuse to
serve my children cigarettes? Maybe in the past you didn't know
that smoking cigarettes was bad for your health, but now there
are big warning labels on all cigarettes. So when you discover
something is unhealthy, would you continue giving it to your
family?

While I was growing up, we stopped eating white bread and
certain cereals because my parents discovered how bad they were
for our health. It's no different than giving up cooked food.

What if the government came out today and put warning labels on
cooked food that said "Cooking your food is as dangerous and
possibly much more dangerous to your health than smoking
cigarettes?" Would you then still feel comfortable cooking food
for your family?

By giving in to their desires, you are also giving them
something that is killing them and ruining their lives. However,
I believe in free will, so let these family members make their
own food choices and adapt. They can change and it is good for
them to learn to change. The change being that you won't cook
for them anymore.

But if this still doesn't work out, then you'll have to learn
to discipline yourself not to eat the cooked food you prepare
for them. A friend of mine had to give up her career in
restaurants when she went raw. She absolutely loves to cook, and
she can even cook food and not really eat it. But she doesn't
want to be a part of contributing to the sickness of cooked
food. She decided to change careers because of her diet.

What I'm really teaching you here are freedom principles. Many
people are not aware of these principles and some people are
simply not strong enough to live in freedom.

Please try to find that book, it's essential in helping you
succeed at going raw. Plus it can totally transform and improve
your life. I give it my highest recommendation.

Roger

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

** Here's Rasberry's great testimonial **

I am a raw foodist. I love how that sounds. I started raw after
hearing about it from a friend last August. This same friend
recommended HowToGoRaw.com, so I checked it out.

I signed up right away and started posting in the forum. There
were many times in the beginning of my raw journey that I

struggled. I went to the site and always found help.

There were days when I was cranky and depressed. (You know you
are a raw foodist when your children ask you if you ate cooked
just because you are a little cranky) Days where I wondered if
being raw was worth it. It was a struggle for me because I had
to give up everything that was comfortable to me.

The hardest food for me to stop eating was cheese. If you had
asked me before I would have said chocolate, but it was cheese.
I needed a cheese substitute and found it. (You know you are a
raw foodist when you grind up nuts and call it cheese)

I received the support I needed. I found a couple of on-line
friendships that I value. Raw Food is a miracle for me. I feel
better than I have ever remembered. I have confidence in this
program that I've had in no other; confidence that I am doing
the healthiest thing for my body, and confidence that I can
continue to lose weight until all of it is gone.

I have lost 60 pounds. I no longer use a motorized wheelchair.
The pain in my knees has disappeared. All the numbers doctors
are concerned with have come down and into normal range ie BP
101 over 68. Above all else, I feel wonderful both emotionally
and physically. Raw really works.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I hope you enjoyed and benefited from these posts located at
the HowToGoRaw.com forum.

To Your Radiant Health, Happiness and Fitness, Roger Haeske

P.S. Are you having trouble sticking to a raw food diet? Do you
want to do it with less struggle and make sure that you are
getting all the nutrients you need? The key to being successful
with a raw food diet getting expert support. I wasn't able to
succeed with a raw diet until I got my own raw food coach.

Go to http://www.howtogoraw.com/success.html and join our Raw
Food Diet Success Society. Radiant health, happiness and your
perfect body are awaiting you and you'll be guided and supported
every step of the way.
- posted by Roger Haeske @ 1:35 PM